‘When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness’.
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Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It’s $5 if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
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A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there’s nothing special... “We just flat out tell 'em they’re gonna die”.
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A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, She’s dead.”
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