On New Year’s Eve, Ann stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
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Jemima was taking an afternoon nap. On waking up, she confided to her husband Max, ‘I just dreamt that you gave me a diamond ring as a gift. What do you think it all means?’
‘Aha, you’ll know tonight,’ answered Max smiling.
At night, Max went to Jemima & handed her a small box.
Delighted, she opened it quickly. It was a book titled, The Meaning of Dreams.
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Customer asked the shopkeeper, “What do you have for
graying hair?”
The Shopkeeper replied, “Nothing but the highest respect Sir.”
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A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries – “DOC, DOC… I can’t feel my legs, I can’t feel my legs!!!
“Well of course you can’t silly!”, replies the Doc… “I’ve cut off both of your arms.
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Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”
One Student: “Because George still had the axe in is hand.”
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