Something strange happened last week. Apparently I was sleep talking – clutching my pillow and repeatedly saying, “But I had told you to add Deluxe Class One” – when my wife shook me awake. For a day or two I couldn’t find an explanation. Then it all came back, in a flash: the entire dream. The previous night (to the dream) we had gone for dinner to a close friend’s house. Despite – or may be because of – the presence of a high profile MP and the sibling of an even more high profile Chief Minister, there was a lot of discussion about the ‘Padma’ awards. Their surfeit this year, along with some questionable awardees, brought forth interesting, and rather amusing, comments. Almost everyone had something to say about how the awards are given out as favours or in lieu of favours received, or as political compulsions. Conversely, some awardees are given much too late. A case of too little to some and too much to others. I had gone to sleep thinking about this and my own strong – and often publicly expressed – desire of getting one of these awards…as well as a doctorate! I have often fantasised being addressed as ‘Dr. Krishan Kalra, Ph.D., Padma Shri. If that person could get it, then why not me? In fact, just a few days earlier (to the dinner) we had been cracking jokes about these awards, at the office. ‘Why has the government stopped at ‘Bhushan; & ‘Vibhushan’? Why not ‘Abhushan, Anubhushan & Atibhushan’? And what about ‘Bharat Bhushan’, ‘Desh Bhushan’, ‘Nagar Bhushan’, ‘Gaon Bhushan’, ‘Kul Bhushan’? They could have many categories – like designations in the Indian Railways – and please many more recipients. Someone even suggested the need for a higher category than Bharat Ratna – and we had finally settled on ‘Bharat Ratna Deluxe Class One’ as the highest award of them all! So, I had gone to sleep with an overdose of awards, and of course with much good food and drink tucked in – and dreamt. I saw myself doing some incredible things in the service of the nation and being awarded the highest award of the land. Of course, many honorary doctorates had already come my way earlier. I had ordered a fancy new granite nameplate – a big black one with gleaming brass letters – to be fixed outside my house. Someone had brought the plate…but it only said ‘Dr. Krishan Kalra, Ph.D., Bharat Ratna. The all-important words ‘Deluxe Class One’ were missing! Naturally I was upset and started arguing with the guy. That was when my wife shook me awake and brought me back to reality.
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