Stress on a Balance

  • Shilpy Arora / FG
  • India
  • Apr 18, 2014

 

 

 

Gurgaon is home to many successful professionals and entrepreneurs, and aspiring youth who want to achieve success in every sphere of life. Economic success has definitely made Gurgaon a ‘millennium city’. But at the same time it has also led to an increase in the Stress levels in the day-to-day lives of people. The ‘modern life’ in the City, primarily driven by a ‘western’ model, seems to generate a constant desire and a relentless aspiration for material gains. Intense competition, the need to excel, peer pressure and the desire to make money is a heady combination. Stress is something that comes as a package deal with a corporate job – just like a posh apartment,” says Garvit Shah, a resident of DLF Phase V. Coming from a ‘smaller’ city, Meerut, Garvit settled in Gurgaon in 2008 in the hope of getting a high-paying job. Within a month he landed a dream job at an MNC. Today he is making good money, but finds it difficult to cope with the mounting Stress levels - arising out of the work pressure and family responsibilities. “Garvit always feels stressed-out, which many times leads to an argument. It seems that Stress has become an integral part of our life now,” feels his wife. She too feels stressed, as it is challenging for her to manage both work and home. She works as a teacher with an international school, where her shift starts at 7am and ends at 4 pm. Be it a teacher, a techie or an entrepreneur, the stories on Stress are similar. Dr. Momita Sen, a psychologist based in Sector 56, says, “The primary reason for Stress is the high aspiration to achieve success in every field. Many young women, for instance, want to become super-moms – they want to be great homemakers as well as excel in their careers. It is important to realise that every human being has some limitations. I always tell people to set realistic goals and clearly say ‘no’ to something they can’t do. Unfortunately, in India we have a culture of not being able to say ‘no’ - especially at the workplace. Many people find themselves agreeing to do more work than they are capable of (doing). All this causes Stress at work as well as home.”

 

Stress is certainly not limited to our professional lives. Mutual affection, love and empathy are feelings that once cemented relationships – but now seem to have vanished from our family lives. Garvit admits, “Sometimes the most stressful time is that spent with my wife and friends. I now prefer being alone a lot of the time.” This is not an isolated case! “When I come home from work I want to relax, unwind and spend time with family; but many times I feel stressed-out and like to sit in my room alone,” says Deepak (name changed), a resident of Park View. Unfortunately, one person’s Stress impacts the entire family, and affects the children’s mental health. While recounting a case, Dr. Sen says, “Family can be a support system for a child. At the same time it could be a source of Stress and anxiety. Last month I had come across a case where a nine-year-old girl was pulling out strands of her hair and eating them. In the first session itself I figured out that she was undergoing acute depression. I interacted with her sibling and found out that he also was going through a high level of Stress. It is unfortunate that parents only realise the danger when their children start doing something strange to attract their attention.” On an average Dr. Sen receives at least two cases of stressed-out children every week. Despite, or maybe because of, the focus on the accumulation of wealth, some children even in financially well-off families are struggling to live a happy life. A resident of Essel Tower, Faruq (name changed), 40, realised that his son was suffering some kind of Stress when one day he saw him throwing a flower pot on a stranger from the window of his apartment. “I was shocked to see this behaviour. When I questioned him, he didn’t utter a word and left the room,” he says. Faruq is now consulting a child physiologist in Medanta.

The primary reason for Stress is our incapability to accept failure(s). People just want their children to achieve success in each field - be it academics, sports or extra-curricular activities; any failure is frowned upon. “In most of the cases the parents are trying to make their children live the lives they wished they had (lived). The parents wish their children to achieve the goals that they had not been able to. The children are therefore being forced to pursue someone else’s dreams…not theirs. All this generates Stress and frustration - and sometimes leads to depression,” informs Dr. Kriti Singh, Assistant Professor, Mental Health, Army College of Medical Sciences. The lack of maturity to accept failure(s) is seen even in college students. Dr. Singh recounts an incident of a medical student who committed suicide, just because her parents didn’t let her go for a college trip. “Peer pressure is so much today that the youngsters tend to get too competitive. If they are not given equal opportunity, they develop a feeling of inferiority, which can lead to depression - and unfortunately sometimes leads to suicides,” she says. Further, the public world is now almost dead – it is all private here. “In small cities, people take out time for social functions. Ramlila, for example, used to be a major attraction during the festive season in Meerut. But in cities like Gurgaon, people hardly go out even for Ramlila. Everything is extremely commercialized and personalised. We have no option but to visit a mall for our daily shopping. It seems that even mall shopping gives a feeling of ‘having made it’,” says Garvit.

To manage Stress effectively, it is important to first realise that living with a higher degree of anxiety is now a part of ‘modern life’. The key to prevention of Stress is good ‘self-management’. Another important factor is to have a ‘positive’ attitude towards life; while one person sees a situation as a problem, another views it as a challenge. The analysis of, and the take-away from, a situation depends on a person’s attitude towards life. As Dr. Sen puts it, “It is natural to feel a little stressed before appearing for an interview or an examination; you may perform better. However, too much Stress can cause serious damage to the mental and physical well-being of a person.” Dr. Singh adds, “We encourage people to inculcate simple relaxation practices - such as yoga, deep breathing, regular exercise, a walk in a garden, meditation and a holiday excursion at least twice a year - in their lifestyles." We all need to find that magic balance between our aspirations and our peace of mind.


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